she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize