Having a random hookup so left but love u
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize