I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
