tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
