i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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