guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
