I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
