sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize