I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
