somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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