At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
