I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
