The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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