i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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