What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize