I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Randomize
