party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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