More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My pussy is not your playground.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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