So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We talked him into tasing himself.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
