kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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