so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
