Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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