what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
