I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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