just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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