I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
