I think i peed on brittanys purse
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
