Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize