theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
