so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
