I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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