why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
