Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
