I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
