just come out here and I will go home with you...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize