***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
