i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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