Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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