I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
A+ Viking dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
