Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We left the knife in your bed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
