She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
