Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
