Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just gift wrapped bread.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
