i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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