i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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