i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
