Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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