that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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