do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
