So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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