I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
NoShamevember. You game?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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