Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
