so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
