I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
