Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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