I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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