question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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