This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
