just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
