I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I just sharted jello shots
Come on in and take your pants off
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